Take a risk. Make a choice.

I have had a hard time sleeping lately. I still have yet to figure out the depth of my insomnia but I do know a lot of ideas and thoughts have been traveling through my brain. What is it that is ultimately going to give me what I want? I know the basics of what I need in my life, as do most of us, but my main concern is my longevity of the decisions I am making today, tomorrow or even next week.

They always say God laughs at plans but isn't it important to create some structure to your life? Create some basis of the path you hope to achieve? I'm seriously contemplating every move I make. Is it the right one? Should I step back a bit and go this other route? Is stepping back further going to take me away from that ultimate goal. WHAT IS THE ULTIMATE GOAL!? Doesn't it drive you crazy when you really think about it? 

People say I tend to over analyze everything but I don't see that as a bad thing. The only bad thing is not making a choice. That's when you have to tell yourself take the risk. After all isn't that what this world is all about? Taking a leap of faith into that gaping hole, not sure of where it leads? What's the worse that could happen? You realize when you come out of the hole it's not what you wanted? Well at least you tried. Remember what it felt like to learn a new skill, for instance, riding a bike. How many times did you fall and yet still get up and try again? I never took risks as a child- I was too afraid of getting hurt and you know what? I never learned to ride that bike. I dodged kids my own age when they wanted to go for bike rides. I was too busy or my excuse was that I didn't have a bike. I was embarrassed to admit that I couldn't do something so simple. But in the end it was because I was afraid of falling. 

Don't let that fear of falling or rather 'failing' hold you back. I eventually took that leap of faith, and borrowed a bike from a friend. It wasn't until my senior year in high school when we had to do a senior project that I learned to ride a bike. I still remember that moment in the parking lot when I finally got up on the seat and rode around with the wind in my face. What a moment!! I did it!! And no I didn't fall as much as I thought I would. Sometimes we just need to believe in ourselves. And know that every choice we make is the right one. It may not feel like it at the time but eventually you will look back at this moment and say...I made a choice. I took that leap of faith and I am not afraid of falling.